The passing of a loved one can be a truly staggering loss.
Even if we know the end is near, we may be surprised to discover the degree to which this loss affects us. In the midst of this grief and mourning, daily routines and rituals can seem impossible.
Even more impossible feeling is the logistics that arise following a death. People need to be notified, a memorial and funeral need to be planned, and other loose ends must be wrapped up.
These are often the last things you want to think about during grieving. And yet, they remain responsibilities that we must face. There are things you can do to help yourself in the process.
Read on, and we’ll walk you through how to plan a funeral when dealing with grief.
Start with Those Close to You
Following the loss of a loved one, it is common to feel lost and alone. You might feel as if you don’t know which way is up. This is a totally understandable feeling, but one you should try not to dwell in.
It is an unavoidable fact that you will need to notify people about your loved one’s death. This can feel like an impossible task. To have to call someone up and form those terribly sad words can feel more difficult than anything.
And it’s true, it can be very difficult. But you might find that process is an important first step in working through your grief. It will connect you with others that shared the same love towards your loved one.
Though the news will be sad, you and the people you call will be grieving the same loss. And this can help you feel much less alone.
Starting with those that are close to you and that you feel comfortable with can be the best way to start this difficult process. This way, you can start to build a support system of people who will be there as you work through the funeral process.
Others can help you spread the word about the deceased. They may even have recommendations for funeral services or grief counselors. Quickly, you’ll realize that talking with people is much more helpful than keeping your grief to yourself.
Your Loved One’s Last Wishes
The next big task you’ll need to take on is meeting with a funeral director. This can be a hard task as well.
It can be helpful if you were left with an understanding of your loved one’s wishes. If your loved one was prepared for their passing, they likely had preferences for how they would be both handled and memorialized.
Working through a will and testament with a lawyer will be an important and necessary task. Friends and family who you’ve spoken with on the phone or in person might also have strong feelings about the memorialization process.
If your loved one has pre-arranged their funeral, you won’t have to worry about much of this process.
But many of us are not so lucky when it comes to planning ahead for the end. If your loved one had not expressed wishes for the events following their passing, you’ll have to make choices based on what you believe they would like.
This can be a difficult task, but as always, your support system can help you work through this.
Choosing a Funeral Home
As you move closer to finalizing your funeral plans, you’ll need to quantify a few things. First and foremost, it’s important to understand what budget you have to work with.
Most funeral homes will give you a pre-made list of services they offer and associated price. Having a budget in mind will help you be able to better find a funeral home that fits your needs.
Meet with a funeral director at a home that you think is right for your service. During this meeting, you and the director will discuss how the deceased will be cared for and what type of ceremony will be held.
Many funeral homes offer a number of grief-related services to those that have recently lost loved ones. These services can range from grief counseling, to monthly checkups, to support group meetings.
If the deceased has requested to be buried, there will be one additional task that you will have to complete. You will need to purchase or secure land in a cemetery.
This land might be pre-purchased prior to death or may have to be taken care of prior to a funeral service.
If you’re having difficulty working through cemetery arrangements due to your grief, speak to your funeral director. They may be able to make these arrangements on behalf of your family.
In addition to the land in the cemetery, you may also need to purchase a casket, urn, or burial vault. A gravestone or other memorial item also may be needed depending on the burial plans.
The expenses involved can be a lot to manage on top of your existing grief. You or members of your support system can move to raise money to help cover these costs. Memorial funds are a fairly common trend in the current era.
How to Plan a Funeral When Grieving
It can be terribly hard to lose a loved one. No matter when it happens over one’s life, it always feels like too soon. Knowing how to plan a funeral during this dark time can be an important thing to learn.
It can be hard to keep the darkness away during this period, but the work of putting together a memorial can also allow you to process your grief in a healthy way.
Feel free to contact us with any other questions you may have about the funeral planning process.